tHe bOho cHicK v 1.0

 by Pablo Neruda

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

that this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

I discovered Pablo Neruda during the summer classes of 2005 where I took up Humanities I under the very inspiring and engaging Ms. Charette Pagtalunan. She introduced me to Italian short stories, Pablo Neruda and other modern writers...uber-cool!!!

Pablo Neruda's poetry is so poignant and very relatable, especially for those who had "been there, done that" in the realm of love. and this poem really speaks to my heart about not being able to freely express love for someone and yet love so strong that in your mind you become one.

well, i've never been there but still you get the feel of it the intesnsity of emotions so simply put and yet so powerful...

source: http://www.public.asu.edu/~nielle/neruda.htm#idonot

This is an experiment, for the next five minutes I will just type whatever comes to my imnd, no editing, no rephrasing. So, here it goes, I saw BLUE today and as usual i am annoyed. He had the nerve to sit at the adjoining table next mine at the canteen! I don't know why I am really pissed at him. I mean I used to like him a lot and then BAM! I learned about how arrogant he is and of course it was a total turn-off. i sometimes feel that this is the life that I should NOT lead! I really don't know why but I feel there's something missing in my life...i know i have a purpose but sometimes i just want to stand up, look around above me and ask,"WHAT?" I want to live life to the fullest but then i don't know where i must begin. yeah, yeah I know all about the look- inside -yourself advice but I don't even know myself so how can I answer it on my own? I wish that I could make God Smile...you know but sometimes i falter and i feel ashamed of even praying to Him when i disobey. i know He wants obedience better than sacrfice but still you know as the apostle PAul said, "that which i want to do i don't do , and what i don't want to do, i do" or something with that thought. ANyway so I have this issues with mself...don't we all? I can't seem to find security in anything in this world because everything in this world is not really stable you know....Speaking of which I want to ride a horse one day.Come to think of it there are things I weant to do before I die and these are:
bungee jump, make a prank call, ride a hot air balloon, see petra for myself, learn a new language, ride a canoe at dawn, feel snow (hey i live in the tropics) , see the bedouins with their camels, work part time at a fast food restaurant, ride on top of a ten-wheeler truck, visit a remote village and teach their children, become a photographer, have an orphanage, see Greece for myself, and also the stone henge, learn how to swim [for some reason i am cynical about buoyancy and i cannot believe that water can hold me up, i think i would drown in a cup of water], climb a coconut tree [haha...as if! i am scared of heights!], have a ONE TRUE LOVE [i believe i have never been in love with a guy, i have LOVED but never that LOVE, if ya'll know what I mean!!!!]. waah!!! India.Arie's song is playing on the radio...can i walk with you through your life? can i lay with you as your wife? wahaha...my sentiments exactly soemtimes i feel that i'd only end up in two situations...numero uno: i'd be a successful careerwoman having the time of my life with my passion or dos: i will be a housewife, i'd take care of my hubby and kids [*gasp* I am scared of having kids, i dunno i am scared that i won't be able to raise them properly in this crapped up world where looks are a big factor and the gap between the rich and the middle class is widening and all this self-gratification messages that mass media feeds us]. I have always considered myself as a feminist but nevertheless i ams till into that old thinking pattern that women ought to stay at home and have babies. For me it's really convenient becasue I want nope, crave security and marrying offers it...NOT!!! I just had this realization that even marriages that last very long are not really guaranteed to last wahehehe!!!Oops...five minutes tops!see what you can make of this!

I am into alternative type of music these days and that's what i play over the radio while going to school and back home again. I listen to THIRTSY MERC, a band from down under, which is a new find for me.I like their song entitled "EMANCIPaTE MYSELF" the message is really nice...you know, for all of those who have "been there". NExt in line is a Christian band, you are all familiar with i bet..of course, SWITCHFOOT...and my ears just love to hear and my voice box just sings along to "This is YouR liFe". Ear candy to me is also another fairly new discovery to me is THOUSAND FOOT CRUTCH who btw ,is also a Christian band and they sang the song "This is a Call" which i satrted playing on my guitar along with Switchfoot's This is Your LiFe...and I also play HillsOng's United Music 'cause i love the alternative sound and the tongue-in-cheek lyrics. I also veer away now from sentimental love songs except of course, if it is sung by Christian Bautista. My head bops to the tune of 1985 and besides, it was the year that i was born!These are the things I like to hear ...for now, I dunno I am sometimes fickle but one thing is for sure, the bands and songs here are definitely part of my A-List!