COMBAT: ELLE vs. DEPRESSION 

Whenever I am tempted to purchase a return ticket to the Philippines (a thought which has occured to me countless of times) because I'm thinking, "I can't put up with the loneliness, with the depression, with the lack of meaningful connection" I stop myself, and almost like some mantra, I think of the quote that I posted last friday, and what I said when I posted it:

I AM WILLING TO PUT MYSELF THROUGH ANYTHING;

TEMPORARY PAIN OR DISCOMFORT MEANS NOTHING

TO ME AS LONG AS I CAN SEE THAT THE EXPERIENCE

WILL TAKE ME TO A NEW LEVEL. I AM INTERESTED IN

THE UNKNOWN, AND THE ONLY PATH TO THE UNKNOWN

IS THROUGH BREAKING BARRIERS.

I am not allowing myself to wallow in self-pity and gloat over the former days. I dwell on this quote and other stuff to strengthen me and to help me forget the unbelievable loneliness that I feel, it's like as I said before, a loneliness so strong that you not only struggle on the inside but it's so paralyzing that fighting it off becomes physically taxing as well. I was reading Ala Paredes's blog (Jim Paredes of APO fame's talented and gorgeous daughter) and I just learned that they had migrated to Australia and you know what? I find that I am not loco for feeling the the way I'm feeling.This is what she said:

I am a new immigrant, and I'm still hilo when it comes to processing this experience. There have been many struggles, many challenges that I can't even attach a name to, powerful emotions I can't seem to identify.

 

I also read her brother's blog, man the guy has the worst case of homesickness I know, funny thing is I can relate! Although I can't post his entries here because they're in Tagalog and I would use a lot of *bleeps*.

Well, at least Ala doesn't have the language barrier! I freak out everytime someone suddenly blurts out something in Chinese (My reaction= ME talking to myself colour draining from her face: uh-oh, here we go again) and then they'd all laugh or comment in Chinese, do you know how that feels? It's like I'm suspended in midair,my extremities are flailing and I have to be in that position for duration of the conversation then I'd come back on earth, specifically Singapore again. Pero di ba di naman maganda yun? Parang maledukado yun at least ganun ako pinalaki ng nanay ko na I shouldn't talk in a language that another wouldn't understand.All those times I WANTED, BEGGED, PRAYED THAT THE SURFACE OF THE EARTH WHERE I WAS STANDING ON WOULD OPEN UP AND SWALLOW ME ALIVE AND THEN I'D JUST POKE MY HEAD EVERY NOW AND THEN FROM THAT HOLE. I can't help myself if I feel ostracized, right?

There are times when people would sweep their eyes from my head down to my feet like scanners and I get this creepy feeling that they are sizing me up if I'm ok or not. Quite frustrating, because I feel...USELESS, and I'm not used to feeling that, I'm a very goal-oriented person and to be here and just bumming out, passing everyday as ok when I know I lead a quasi-life is very ...very...ARGH!It's not so much as missing the people back home, it's more of integrating myself, saan ako lulugar? I was used to activities and moving about being productive...

Everytime something sad or uncomfortable happens, I just think, 'God, I know You have a reason why I'm feeling this, why I'm experiencing this, why I feel so left out". To be frank may be I'm just "putting up" with all this things in my life because I love God,and if it weren't for me being a Christian, (actually it's not really about being a Christian, it's about loving Jesus )I would have backed out, Sayonara Singapore! I mean who in their right mind would let themselves go through the pain and discomfort of uprooting and moving in a foreign country with absolutely no other relatives around (another thing that Ala doesn't have to deal with), who would allow their academic careers to be put on hold, to COMPLETELY MESS UP, DELETE, ERASE, FORGET the LIFE PLANS that one has drawn up? Whatever happens to me I know it'll be for my good, didn't God say that in Jeremiah 29:11?

Whenever I feel lonely I just go to Him. Knowing that there will be a double recompense for my shame (Isaiah). God, I am humbled...please don't let go of Your hand!

Birthday Card

I thank my blockmates for the birthday card...soooo sweet...love you all...mommy loves you, make me proud! You can all master Anatomy, Physiology, PhysDys and PsychDys (did I get all of them...oh cripes! I forgot MRL!). Just give your best shot! And remember to rest ah? Miss ko na kayo sobra! Tell me bout the internship...keep on going strong block 20!

Training the Mind

I've been brainwashing myself these past week. It's a tough mental battle! But I'm taking responsibility.

On Blog Leave

Yes, I'll be on blog leave for an indefinite span of time, that's why this is a pretty long post. I have been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I had this wonderful thought. I have  a lot of time on my hands and few people have this privelege. I realized that I could start to be serious in writing again! I am now on the "birthing" stages of this "book" that I want to create and it's Sabrina Ward Harrison meets Maya Angelou with a Christian tone, I'm thinking it's gonna take four to five months until I complete it, but my head is just swimming with all the things I want to put in there. I've started on mood pages and sketches and also some pieces of poetry. Then I really am amazed because I have ideas for essays, poems and stories(which I will post here). I am so excited at the stuff I'll be throwing myself into. So many things to write about!

Christian by Maya Angelou

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I'm clean livin."
I'm whispering "I was lost,"
Now I'm found and forgiven.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and need HIS strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
My flaws are far too visible
but, God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain,
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian"
I'm not holier than thou,
I'm just a simple sinner
who received God's good grace, somehow.

 ~Maya Angelou~

Of course, you can read my everyday blog, if you want updates on what's happening to me.

Ciao people see you guys soon!

ok...

 weird title right? somehow, i like to play with words these past few days. yeah, i know three entries in one day, TOTALLY PATHETIC...bear with me...

so far i'm lovin' my cyber life...so back off!

haha...yikes! i'm so touchy-feely these days...well @ 1AM I was sinking into the "thinking couch" with my OFFICIAL ELLE JOURNAL, and I came up with the previous post on what I miss...then I played around with words until I came up with this:

maybe it's too much to ask you, baby

but i've been wondering if you

have seen my heart somewhere

i think i believe too much

i think i've let myself down

i think the earth has gone

from under my feet...

catch me if you can

i'm slipping from your grip

as i slowly let go

i'm torn between freedom

and promises to keep

i look into your eyes

and i could see your pain

but i just cannot live everyday

with you trying to explain

hold on to me fast

it's me you're gonna lose

i;ve treated myself bad

got no options left to choose

but close my eyes

let tears fall

free from control...

Came out from nowhere...

let me share with you this quote from John Maxwell's Be All You Can Be

I WOULD RATHER BE ASHES THAN DUST. I WOULD RATHER THAT MY SPARK SHOULD BURN OUT

IN A BRILLIANT BLAZE THAN THAT IT SHOULD BE STIFLED BY DRY ROT.I WOULD RATHER BE A SUPERB

METEOR, EVERY ATOM OF ME IN A MAGNIFICENT GLOW, THAN A SLEEPY, IMPERMANENT PLANET.

THE PROPER FUNCTION OF MAN IS TO LIVE, NOT TO EXIST. I SHALL NOT WASTE MY DAYS IN TRYING TO

PROLONG THEM. I SHALL USE MY TIME.

cOOL right?

EXCESS: Today is Singapore's 41st National Day...had some company over for lunch...First VISITOR 2 PAsir Ris Block 483

visit: http://bohochick.blogdrive.com for the nicer version 

i have loads of things to do yet i manage to blow it all off successfully without feeling any remorse whatsoever. And what, you may ask, are the "loads" of things that i need to accomplish within 24 hours that i couldn't accomplish? Considering that i am practically a part-time bum, holed up in my room at the seventh floor of an HDB flat, procrastination is so passe. It's like you know you have a lot of things to do and you end up doing nothing productive at all.

For one i would like to think that this season in my life is one that involves renewal and improvement. Hmm...sounds good in writing.

Of course there's this desire to come up with a decent form of writing, to find my "voice" and to manage to write in paper all the ideas that are racing through my head from 1 am to 2 am which is why i have eyebags the size of Lake Superior. Anyway, yes, despite the fact that my creative juices have started to leak and there are a million things i want to post here in my dear bloggie, i have successfully wasted my precious internet time ( an hour and a half allocated to each of us) on looking better yet ogling at pictures of johnny depp and orlando bloom ( i watched the PC:Dead Man's Chest last Sunday with CG members, and i found it quite interesting, i mean, i watch and enjoy, not watch and critique, besides, i am in no mood for a session of movie-bashing). Or checking out my awfully quiet friendster account. writing is both a channel to express my creativity and to also de-toxify my soul. To banish un-beautiful thoughts and fears to the netherworld.

There are a lot of things i'd like to say, like how living in Singapore for the past two and a half months has been a humbling experience. I know our friends don't mean it and they may be well-meaning but some assumptions they have (which never go unheard) were at first quite hilarious and then slowly evolved into exasperation then indignation. i am saying this out loud for all in the blogosphere to read not because i want to be justified for feeling these things, but i just need to let this off my chest lest i explode, bringing all the people near me. assuredly, i would feel better if i say this. and if someone concerned read this please understand that i mean no harm, and in no way would like to ridicule you, i just feel so bad everytime these things occur, bad in i-want-to-leave-singa-bloody-pore kind of way.And my sarcastic side just froths out, I mean c'mon really we didn't arrive in Singapore inside a steel cage wearing only loincloths and sporting our clan tattoos and odd body piercings. It was like the documentary i saw during freshman year at university where Americans reported that we Filipinos had tails and resembled monkeys. After this, i swear i would feel released.

 Case(s) in point:

The most popular and IRRITATING question we've ever encountered:

"DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?"

ANd they ask this s-l-o-w-l-y with this wary look on their faces, thankfully i'm too polite to retort back with my finely honed grammar and diction after years of  being part of the editorial staff of our school paper and winning and coaching winners of public-speaking contests ( and i say this without any hint of conceit). Oh, man, we were speaking English before we ever spoke Tagalog! Hello? !

Here are some others:

Scene: My sister is introduced to a SIngaporean

Singaporean: Oh so you live in Philippine (It's Philippines , with an 's' please, our country was named after a Spanish monarch, King Felipe or Philip  something, grabe)

NOTE: This scene repeats itself...EVERYTIME

Scene: Brother goes out with friends at well-known restaurant.

Friend: Is this your first time eating at Kenny Rogers?

Brother (who happens to be quite offended): Oh no, in the Philippines we eat at Kenny Rogers but I like Pizz Hut more (bawi!)

Scene: Me talking to a new friend

Friend(totally unassuming): SO you live in a fish farm?

Me(throws head back and laughs out loud).

Fish farm? Miles away dude, the only live fish i see would be from my friend's arowana's tank. ANd then at church they had a play where the Philippines was portrayed as mountainous, agrarian region, i hope that the Department of Tourism is happy about this.

But really it makes me quite sad, i mean regardless of the political turmoil, squalid conditions, increasing oil hikes, corrupt officials, denudation of forests, pollution,killing of journalists and social activists and all the other stuff that makes the Philippines a 3rd world country, i love it with all the love i could possibly give (naks!). I just view this things as a dozen or so quirks that we Filipinos have learned to live with, and laugh at ,which makes us the 17th Happy People in the World (in the words of Ding, yayness!). I mean, we actually laugh at our own expense, and we are happy...quite funny right?

But above all, living in Singapore and facing all the stuff that i described above really makes me sad, granted, Filipinos especially Pinays are known the world over as Domestic Helpers, you know, chimay,longkatuts and other demeaning names you can think of. So it's quite natural for them to react that way, thinking of us as illiterates and stuff like that. I mean favorable impressions are hard to  come by. I don't want to use the d-word but then i can't help it. i just feel that it's unfair, i mean one must look at others with an un-varnished eye, and as i said they may be well-meaning but they have absolutely no idea how they have a hand at making my fears come true.

It's humbling living in Singapore, because people expect you to prove yourself, and i am tired of doing just that. i almost destroyed myself by constantly proving myself of worth to everyone and anyone who'd give me the time of day. it's humbling because i was never treated in the Philippines the way people treat me here. it's humbling because for once, though i hate to admit it, i feel ashamed of my country. in a few weeks time we'll receive the approval of our PR application, i can't help it if i feel like a traitor. Hmm...and this is not my motherly streak slash pining to be "wifey" of a certain student rebel mode. i mean it's like sinking into a the lowest of all low-life form. how can you be ashamed of the place of your orientation?

this post's getting way too long, i was supposed to bemoan my procrastination streak but i ended up with a different tone altogether. anyway there's always tomorrow, i am gonna be catching up on some writing, like stories and stuff. my brain is racing so much that i keep a notebook and a pen wherever i go, even when i am just puttering about in the flat, because, you never know when you strike gold with your ideas.

and to those peepz in the philippines, "Utang na loob magparamdam namnan kayo sa yahoo messenger!!! in da words of ibet...grrrr!!"

excess: i am apalled at the recent stuff going on between israel and lebanon, the killing of civilians doesn't justify anything at all. and have you heard of the thing going on in columbia, i just pray that those caught in the rebel territory would find a way out (better yet be rescued by the UN team). and oh, let's also pray for the people in North Korea, i read that 100 people are feared to be missing because of the flood they experienced or are experiencing.

Tonight, my Mom has found out how to make me bolt like FLASH and accomplish things with super speed, how? easy...starve elle (aka me). Nope she did not starve me...hello? I just had this craving for fried, salty sustenance. And it so happens that my mom only prepared caramelized veggies...well ok chop suey, but it tasted a tad bit too sweet for me...So I pestered her if she could prepare the chicken franks omelette that she said she would, alas, that could not be for as a rule, whenever someone is in front of the laptop, they turn into zombies and only respond to the words, "Time's Up!".

Well, all those times that I have watched the Lifestyle Channel paid off, Jennifer (she always laughs because everytime she calls me at home, I'm watching Martha Stewart fold shirts and stuff). Yes, watching Martha Stewart, Rachel Rae, MArio Batali, Iron Chef and all the other gurus do their thing has helped me in my quest to become a quasi-domestic goddess. Thanks to Tyler Florence who inspired me to make perfect omelettes (by beating the eggs for about fifteen minutes to incorporate the air to make the omelette fluffy), in fact my mom's friends say I make perfect sunny side up eggs, I mastered scrambled eggs when I was in fifth grade.

Then there was the time when I was feeling very Italian and decided to make spaghetti from scratch, literally from scratch mind you, of course the results were not less than disastrous, as my sibs can attest because I liberally doused the sauce with ketchup. ANyway, at least I tried and that was like six years ago so, it's quite forgivable.

One of my successes has been the deep fried breaded calamares which was one of the things I am proud of that I made from scratch again...My sibs this time ate it with much gusto so I am redeemed from the previous mishap. And then there's the fact that I CAN BAKE(----> Insert Hallelujah Chorus here).I bake carrot cakes which earned me the moniker "CARROT CAKE" (and that would be another story). I bake cookies like oatmeal cookies and choc-chip cookies. I can bake and I am proud...

So, I was starving and my mom was shocked at the lightning speed by which I accomplished the task, you know cracking up the eggs, beating them for a while and then cutting up the chicken franks in bite-size pieces, and voila! In less than ten minutes I made dinner...well grammatically correct one would be... I prepared dinner. And now, all I can say is ...BURP!!!

PS i dunno if i can wake up tomorrow early, cell group has prayer meeting tomorrow at 11am, and i only sleep at 2 or 3 am...

hmm...2 am already i cannot sleep as always, methinks i am developing insomnia...

anyway, i heard schools' cancelled classes today in the Philippines, because of the typhoon, news like that makes me thankful that i am here in S'pore and not there being drenched or worse knee-deep in (God only knows what unidentified floating objects rainwater).

ok...

now...

what?

been a long day eh...i slept at 2 am yesterday woke up at 7:30am and now i am still up, i just happen to take a nap for 30 minutes...

Mr. Sandman where are you?

Probably with the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy...

This is the view from the window of our sonn-to-be vacated flat, our first Singapore address, Block 739 Pasir Ris Drive 10...I'm gonna miss this place, for one, I this place symbolizes my emotional roller coaster ride.

Grr...people cannot sleep because of the tap-tap of my fingers on the keyboard...have to count sheep, or maybe ermmm....palm trees?

ciao! g'mornin'

whew! i was sick for quite awhile, hmm...two weeks almost. i guess my sickness really affected my brain because i have been thinking of getting a tattoo<yipes!.>. as anyone who really knows me, they all know that i am not really partial to considering my body as a canvas for a needle with pigments...hmmm...i am seriously considering it though...

Everyone wants to be my superhero

Everyone thinks I need saving

They all want to be the knight in shining armor

But no one asks me if I’m fine

Everyone wants to be my superhero

Everyone wants to save me

They all want to fight the fire-breathing monster

But they don’t ask me if I’m fine

These are the lines of the song entitled, Misunderstood, a song that I wrote during the first quarter of the year 2005. It was a time when despite the straight, smiling face that I wore when facing others, never before had I felt so oppressed and therefore depressed. Back then, I had felt that the world around me, that I have put into so much effort into building was crumbling down around me. My life resembled the flaky crust of a pie after an encounter with an all too eager fork! It was the time when the smallest things would either tick me off and I would get annoyed and lash out at my unsuspecting victim (usually the person in proximity) or I would suddenly feel so alone that I would cry.

Granted, my outbursts were far from rational, and I was very quick to ask for help. I’m thankful that I have been blessed at that time with a tightly knit support system in the form of my blockmates, who have seen the worst of all outbursts and who understand my sudden fits of crying or hysterical laughter and never once doubted my sanity (though in retrospect I truly believe that more than once they were tempted to admit me to WARD 7!). But the point is, I asked for help. I am the type of person who can easily express my emotions in front of those people who I know will accept the gibberish that will come flooding out of my mouth (though I never express my sentiments to family members unless I am a 100% sure of the reaction that I would elicit). And of course, any self-respecting individual who has been plagued for months with nagging feelings of emptiness, self-doubt and anxiety will ask for help.

And, oh boy, did I get the help! This became a major problem,I think somehow my friends saw me wearing a hospital gown with the words CHARITY CASE emblazoned on the front. As if I was this specimen to scrutinize under the microscope. They had taken me and dissected the anatomy of my failing self-esteem. Plus they gave me a differential diagnosis, on what I should do. Pretty cool ain’t it? But it wasn’t what I had needed!

I am not resentful for the pieces of advice that my friends gave me, and I am grateful for their concern, but as the lyrics of the song suggests, no one even asked me how I felt, they just saw the problem and *poof* they gave a solution.

Sometimes, we humans can make the mistake of supplying answers and solutions without even really knowing the real problem. What I really needed then was someone to affirm my feelings, that they were real feelings and that sometimes even to the best of us, crappy feelings do occur. What I had wanted then was not to feel alone. It gave me the impression that all of them were living normal lives and I screwed up. It was as if the feelings I had were only peculiar to me. I felt so dysfunctional compared to them. What’s worse was that they were scrambling up to help me without even knowing what I had really needed.

Countless of times I had wished for someone to smile knowingly at me and then say, “Di ka pa naloloka, normal lang ‘yan, huwag kang mag-alala, babawi ka rin”. It would have helped greatly if someone listened and nodded in agreement with me and not say, “ Ano ka ba?” or “Ano’ng drama na naman yan?”. Because my sadness was way too deep, that I felt like sinking every time I flailed my arms in a desperate attempt for help.

Admittedly, I too make the same mistake of dismissing someone else’s dilemma as nothing. I would churn out generic answers like, “Maybe it’s just a phase, you’ll get over it” or “This too shall pass”. When I know all too well that this type of response is futile in addressing the situation of the person. I am also guilty of belittling the overwhelming fear or anxiety that my friend feels. But it can change right?

So next time, when a friend asks to talk to you about issues that she’s facing, be a little sensitive. Do not wear your shining armor or cape just yet. You do not necessarily have to vanquish her demons and dragons. Just be you, be her friend, listen intently and do not be all high and mighty, thinking that you are superior than her because she came to you for help. She isn’t a charity case, she’s a person in deep turmoil. Help her clear her mind by listening. Sometimes that’s what all a person needs – somebody who’d listen.

Argh! I can predict full well my classmates’ reactions when we meet again for this second term. I feel it. My hard to achieve almost flat stomach (which I had worked on for three months) has wasted away and I now have a belly that can compete with the laughing Buddha. See, it was not really planned, I just thought that I would be busy, binding all the photocopied handouts that have accumulated at my desk for the first semester into separate books, continuing art projects, watching VCDs that I borrowed (Sassy Girl Chun-Yang) , reading and stuff, but then within five days, I finished every task I started with. Plus the fact that all I can do after that is sleep or watch TV and then of course, eat. I also developed these cravings for cookies, pizza and pineapples. Which coincidentally arrived in bulk at our house in a couple of days which is totally ruining my staying slim plan. Now I feel frumpy,pudgy and heavy, but I try to rationalize and say, “This is like what polar bears do they prepare for the long winter ahead by gorging themselves with food and increasing body fat, only in your case you need it to survive the second semester”. Which kinda makes sense, right? I mean, I could get out of the house, but where would I go? I find malls cold and yes, I’ve had invitations from my highs school classmates to come to their house but then they have made it explicitly clear that it would be like a drinking binge, from what I gather they were there to celebrate and to grieve, kinda weird, eh? Besides, I’m basically a homebody and a cheapskate. I never go out unless it’s important. I’ve gained a few pounds…well, that’s an understatement. Huhuhu….

Postscript: Aside from the above mentioned, I have been loading down on salty foods...SALT...yes you know how much a female can retain water because of salt, I am BLOATED!

There are times when I feel I’m succumbing to regression in terms of my development as a person. Like in Psychology, one of the common defense mechanisms is Regression , which can be defined as “a defense mechanism where one reverts to a previous stage in development” . What am I talking about? For example, I have reduced my vocabulary at times to “baby talk” . AND I guess since I never really had the chance to go through the ANGST-Y TEEN stage I am now going through it. It’s either that or I am just affected by the song that I listen to, just as “…faith cometh by hearing, and by hearing the Word of God” (Romans 10:17, KJV) , I believe that whatever I hear takes root in my heart and then I begin to profess it. Like this poem that I wrote:

“Have-To Life”
Got to keep my smiling face on
Even if I feel so used and alone
Got to keep the sunshine in my life
Even if I’m guilt-ridden with strife
Got to keep the pace I’m moving
Even if I feel like drowning
Got to keep my best behavior
Even if I fail every endeavor
Got to keep them all entertained
Even if I’m stuck in pouring rain
Got to keep being this alive
WELCOME TO MY HAVE-TO-GOTTA-BE-SOMEBODY-OTHER-THAN-ME-LIFE

I wrote this poem when the conditions and situation that I was in were less than perfect. I was facing challenges at every aspect of my life. I really felt that my life was all about the “Have-To”, it was not really a sweet time for me. I knew that writing it was wrong, but because I was so resentful and bitter of everything that happened, I just felt the need to put it on paper. Then I asked God to show me what the truth was. Wouldn’t you know it? The first thing I got was an affirmation of the poem! Let’s look at John 16:33 in different versions. The affirmation I put in italics.

New Living Translation (NLT)

I have told you this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth, you will have many trials and sorrows . But take heart because I have overcome the world.

King James Version (KJV)

John 16:33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

Basic Bible English (BBE)

John 16:33 I have said all these things to you so that in me you may have peace. In the world you have trouble: but take heart! I have overcome the world.

Message (MSG)

John 16:33 I've told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world.

So it is true, Jesus said so Himself that I will, we will, have MANY TRIALS AND SORROWS . Jesus did not say that everything will be smooth sailing from now on, now that you’ve accepted Him as the Lord of your life. While we are still in this world, in this world system, we’d still be facing setbacks, failures, mistakes, pressures, sadness, grief, temptation, yes it is all true. But then let us look at what Jesus said before that, in the Message, it is written that:

I've told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace.

God then will give you His peace, not your peace which can be easily swayed by circumstances, but HIS PEACE , which is “…far more wonderful than the human mind can understand…” NLT . And this peace will keep, guard, control your mind (what you think) and your heart (what you feel). Prayer with thanksgiving prevents us from worrying and fussing over the situation, it keeps our focus on God’s promises, some of which are the fact that: He will never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), “All things work together for good to them that love God, and to them who are called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28) and that He’d provide for our EVERY need (Philippians 4:19).

But wait… there’s more! Not only will God give us peace, but since He overcame, conquered (Greek nikao ) the world, we share in this because “In everything we have won more than a victory because of Christ who loves us” Romans 8:37 CEV. As it is written, “Every child of God can defeat the world, and our faith is what gives us victory. No one can defeat the world without having faith in JESUS as the Son of God.” I John 5:4-5 CEV

So you see, the poem is scrapped, life is not have-to anymore, because I know in Christ I have more than enough, I am equipped to face the world. I won’t have to worry about anything because, “Greater is he that is in me than he that is in the world.” I John 4:4b CEV