tHe bOho cHicK v 1.0

NOpe. I'm not turning into a masochist.

The words above characterize the things that I have been going through this past week It's amazing how 4 monosyllabic words can sum up my week.

OUCH!

My hands felt clammy, my vision was blurred, I was breaking out in cold sweat, I was hyperventilating (in the bad I'M-GONNA-PASS-OUT-WAY) and to top it all off, I felt so weak. I thought I was going to die. As in drop dead on the floor. I clutched at whatever bannister or just anything I could hold on to. That was Sunday. These past few days I have been having a headache... a mild one but nevertheless still a headache. I hate headaches because they make me irritable and I can' t get much done.

YUM!

I have this thing for melted cheese on steaming rice, maybe because I miss the Baked Cheesy Lapu-Lapu on Rice at Mr. Choi's. A trait which my parents have passed on to me is when you want something that you can't have just yet. you go and create something just like it -INNOVATION. So instead of feeling deprived, I decided that I would create my own "baked" cheese rice melt. I have to make sure that the rice is steaming hot and that's when I plop the Kraft Singles slice on top of it, the warmth and steam of the rice just melts the cheese and so voila! Problem solved.

I like salty foods, it's something that my dear maternal grandmother passed on to me, and so I am freaking out because we ran out of bagoong na alamang . I mean how can I survive without it? Just writing about it makes my mouth water. My sister is so lucky, she'd be going with my mom back to the Philippines soon, to get her teeth fixed. She gets to eat tokneneng, baggong at manggang hilaw, halo-halo, sisig, Jollibee(sobrang miss ko na!), Chowking and all other stuff. Of course we can buy bagoong (I like the Barrio Fiesta brand) at Lucky Plaza, but then we just never get around to it.

Oh NO!

Jennifer SMSed me and said that "IT WAS RAINING A LOT" so the classes were suspended. I thought she was just kidding, that maybe it was only a medium strength typhoon, not enough to warrant headline news on channelnewsasia, I was wrong, it was an ultimate flood, aptly named Milenyo, internationally known as Xangsane. I do hope the high intensity winds won't damage too much houses, although that will be impossible. Judging from the photos I've seen it's really sad for those who live in the shanties, I just hope that there won't be any more casualties. Look at this photo, I got it from INQ7 site:

My prayers go out to everyone.Heard that power was restored and people have been cleaning up.

 

Ok...lotsa happened. I just hope that after the hiatus I would emerge mature, sane and not so boring blogger.Where do I start?

Well, start from the beginning they say...but I need to carefully choose my words right?

 

So I am glad I am blogging again and I have this thing to keep me going on...

Huh? Didn't get me either, in a couple of days you guys will be able to read more about my adventures in faith and how I fill my time.

Ciao!

Kiss...kiss...much love...

Birthday today,

Last year, I celebrated my birthday the only way a BS Occupational Therapy Student (2004) @ the University of the Philippines (Manila) knows how -

PIZZA! PIZZA! PIZZA!

Yes the task of feeding 28 people can be very taxing on the wallet and the budget...

so much for that,

Last year, I thought, that this year I would make the celebration more memorable...just goes to show you how your life can suddenly change in an instant...

I've hit the 20+ mark...

 

not so sure how I should feel...but I know one thing...Erikson's observation is off limits for me...or I'd just get depressed all over again...

 

Paint The Town Red

You know I feel there's something 'bout to break now,
You know I feel there's a city here to take now.
And it's not so tough for these ordinary hands,
When we trust someone with extraordinary plans.

You know I feel this heart's about to break now,
Cos I can see what the devil's trying to take now.
We've got this leather backed book and a freedom cry,
And we're an army of God who are ready to die.

You give us hope where hope is gone,
You fill the streets with a holy song,
We’re gonna paint this big old town red.

Oh, Here we come, here we come
Oh, Here we come, here we come

You know I feel this sky's about to break now.
You know I feel our city's gonna shake now.
And we hear you call every woman and man,
"Ring the mission bell" and storm the gates of hell.

Miracles run from street to street,
Rise up Church for a holy meet,
We’re gonna paint this big old town red
We’re gonna paint this big old town red
With the blood of Jesus!

Written by Delirious? ©2005 Curious? Music UK

 

 

 

 

 

Romans 8:15-17 (THE MESSAGE)
 15-17This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It's adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike "What's next, Papa?" God's Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what's coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we're certainly going to go through the good times with him! (emphasis added)
                                                                                                     
In My Daddy’s Arms
When I feel they’re
  planning my destruction
The whole world
 is crumbling in slow motion
Whom shall I fear?
My God is near
In my Daddy’s arms
I am safe and warm
In my Daddy’s arms
Even through the storm
I know I can run
And be still…
In my Daddy’s arms
Lord, I feel they are out to get me
I break down and cry
Still I know Your hand is upon me
I am Your child
Your love never fails
Your Word prevails
I wrote and laid notes to this song during one of my ‘quiet times’ with the Lord. During my devotionals I usually have my guitar with me aside from my journal and Bible. There will be a moment of stillness as I wait upon God. Then that is when I start to praise Him, not only for what He’s done but more importantly for who He is.
This song simply states the intimacy that a child of God feels with the Abba, Father –the Daddy God!

I don’t want to “go”

I don’t want to “know”

I don’t want to “be”

I don’t want to “do”

I’m not who I am

If I am without you

I am free to believe

I am here to receive

Send me now my Lord

This is what I plead

Because You are the reason I breathe in air

 I will never go anywhere without You near

Stir the fire in me and I will soar on eagle’s wings

Give You my life like never before, hear me sing

Your Love’s the most amazing thing

The reason why my life to You I bring

 

 

Putting Danish butter cookies and the ever-present choc-chip cookies aside, I have finally curbed my appetite for these goodies and have embarked on the task and pleasure of yet another new "artsy" project. < Yay! Pat on the back for me!> I’m all quiet about what the project is, basta, it’s something not-so- new from my perspective; the real “new” factor is that it’s the first time I have done it on my own. I’ve read something about it before way back elementary days pa, pero I never knew it could be fun (in my definition of the word) kasi I have never tried it before. I have to say I did quite an interesting job at it.

Maybe I‘d be able to post it here in my blog one of these days. The whole process requires me to use much of fine motor movements, and my least favorite chore or crafting step – Cutting. Plus it makes you think really, because I added this random selection kind of thing, once I get to post a piece of work I’ll give out the procedure. I am so pleased with the results and it brings out my love for words. It also challenges your creativity in a way where you are given this situation and you just have to “make-do” with whatever is laid before you.

 

My former English teacher worte to me via e-mail, he's in New York now teaching ESL . When he was still here in the Philippines and he was still my teacher, he was the one I could talk to, intelectually, a very intelligent conversation. not that it was about science or psychology or whatever, he just made sense. Like he was treating me as equal without offedning me, which is for our 20+ years age difference was quite a feat, wouldn't you agree?

 

Anyway, he asked me how I had been doing, because last time I sent him an email I was really messed up and I dumped my frustrations about college at him. Yeah, I know I'd navigate halfway to the other side of the world just to pour out my problems, at that time, he was the only one who could tell me what to do because I trusted him that much. He replied that he was saddened and stuff like that, but then he told me to come back to my roots, my dreams, which was in a way therapeutic. And oh, by the way, he was the one who suggested I take up Occupational Therapy adn then a degree in Special Education a career option that I seriously consider.

 

So in reply to his message, I told him I was great and that he was right <because he commented that I looked great in my pictures at friendster> I was doing well, better than before. I also told him I'm contemplating on the future, but as of now everyhting is going great in my life. I then thanked him and closed off with Love, not my usual hugs and kisses. He's like a real uncle to me.

 

So I'm really happy! Not only because of the above mentioned but because never in my life have I felt God more real and present! All right!

 

Oh well…that’s about it for now!

 

image source: http://sweetie4ever.blogdrive.com

BOINKTake note, hindi siya toink ngunit BOINK. So ano muna ang kanilang difference? Well, ang TOINK ay parang pag hulog nang maliit na papel na na-crumple sa iyong bumbunan, habang ang BOINK ay ang paghulog nang isang giant rubber ball mula sa 50 -story building at  parang freak accident ay bigla na lang SPLAT! Nasa ulo mo na. So ang BOINK ay mas masakit kaysa sa TOINK dahil sa bounce at sa context nito What am I talking about? Sheesh…I’ve been bitten again, note by the love bug mind you, but the INFATUATION bug. As I told yung friend ko, ngayon ko lamang na-understand ang ibig sabihin ng INFATUATION, at hindi ako makapaniwala na half of my so-called LOVE LIFE ay puro INFATUATION. Sobrang nalungkot ako kasi parang nalinlang ako nang sarili kong emotions…tsk, tsk, how sad no? So anyway, as I was saying BOINK! Ang sakit nito, hindi dahil sa alam ko na wala na talagang pag-asa pa na kami ay makadaupang-palad man lang (naks!), ngunit dahil hindi ko man lang na-recognize ang MAHIWAGANG SIGNOS na I would actually get to like the guy. Okie, so itago na lang natin xa sa pangalan na GUYAT first sight, mukha siyang matinong tao, that is kung hindi na siya gagalaw at ang kanyang wind-producing mouth ay tightly sealed, otherwise, head for cover!  If this guy’s mouth is properly harnessed by the government, hindi na tayo gagastos sa pag-import ng petroleum for like, as long as he lives. Isang energy force not to be reckoned with. Ayun nga, akala ko matino siya, until he opened his mouth. Parang gusto ko nang tumakbo at maghanap ng lungga na kayang ma-withstand ang kanyang kayabangan. Turn-off na nga yun, teka lang, pano turn-off eh, hindi pa naman ako attracted sa kanya. For some reason, he was like one of those people na you feel annoyed kahit wala pang ginagawa sa’yo na pwedeng i-reklamo sa Supreme Court or whatever regional trial court. Alam ko, nasa isip mo, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover”… at eto lang ang masasabi ko HINDI PA PO AKO TAPOS MAGKWENTO. Sa aking free time, pag ako ay mag-isa at nagpapalaboy ang aking ulirat sa avenida nang mga konsepto at ideyang kumikiliti sa aking kamalayan , lagi kong napapansin na siya na lang ang naiisip ko. Tapos nun, pag na-realize ko  na siya na naman ang laman nang utak ko, parang gusto kong kumuha nang ESKOBA at i-scrub ang brain casing ko at ibabad sa LYSOL ang utak ko. At take note, pag iniisip ko siya eh, puro yung KINAIINISAN kong TRAITS ang na-I-Identify ko sa kanya, which doesn’t make sense at all di ba? ALARMS for the first time did not go off in my head. Kasi once the alarm sounds off, I know na I’ve gotten to like the person big time, but it shouldn’t be kasi it is IMPOSSIBLE to begin with. Pero, you know what, the alarms never sounded off kasi I had fooled myself into thinking na I HATED THE GUY (mas strong ba yung abhor or despise or loathe or detest? Feeling ko pag na-combine mo yun lahat ganun ang feeling ko towards GUY). Natural, feeling ko tuloy okie lang pag-initan at kutyain siya.Which is wrong kasi naman the more I talked about him, the more I noticed him and his ways. Which in turn fed the deadliest type of attraction-ang PAGKAKADEVELOP sa isang tao. Sinabi ni Mama ko na pag-nadevelop daw sayo ang isang tao para siyang asong ulol na nakakagat sa laylayan nang pantalon mo at kahit anong gawin mong pag-jerk ng legs mo eh  hindi siya bibitaw. Ganda ng analogy ko noh? Ginawa kong aso ang sarili ko. Anyways, so before I even knew what on earth hit me, I had committed the crime of liking him. What is worse, it seems like he won’t ever like me. Pero diba? Same old, same old story yun? The only thing that makes this story different is that I truly feel like I want to take care of  GUY and get to know him better not under any false pretenses. Pathetic, I know…Pero it’s true. I haven’t beem able to feel this way for a very long time. Considering that my heart is calloused and I got to the point where I had actually convinced myself na I have lost the capacity to love another human being that is not in any way blood-related to me, tska naman E-ESBOOT  itong si GUY (tama ba yung esboot? O esbutt?) which takes things in a whole new perspective....

so...two posts in one day...i just have to tell you guys!

I am a self-confessed “collector of embarrassing moments”. As a matter of fact, since I was a child I had that habit. I fell into a canal when I was a kid (now, see here the “canal” I am talking about is not unlike the ones that are found in Venice, it is FAR from that, in the Philippines, a canal is a body of muddy, ink-black sludge that contains enough germs and bacteria and even viruses to the utmost level of toxicity, it’s like “garbage juice”) in front of the whole community. The good thing though was that my mom wasn’t around and the neighbors bathed me and dressed me up so that my mom would not notice anything “off” had happened. Anyway I could go on and on about mistaken identities, wrong directions, not following instructions and stuff like that, but I thought, man, it happens and I guess I kinda learned to shrug it all off.


Just when I thought that there is nothing in this world that would make me feel embarrassed or shamed or humiliated, TODAY, yes mark your calendars, April 20, 2005, at exactly 11:45AM I humiliated myself in…get this NATIONAL TELEVISION. I was supposed to go back at the College of Arts and Sciences building after a brief stay at my classmates dormitory and we usually passed by the Supreme Court Building.
Now as a student of the University of the Philippines, Manila, cameras, reporters and OB vans were the usual so my friends and I though nothing of it.

But boy, oh boy, we (Camille, Elaine and I) were stopped by EAGLE, a segment host for a morning show at one of the major TV network here and he asked me my opinion about something I have no right to comment on because it was so political I knew I’d make enemies if I said something very opinionated…I mean the latest issue I knew was the announcement of the new pope…so I came up with such a STUPID, STUPID answer and therefore making a complete fool of myself. And what is worse, everyone is going to see it (since the show which I won’t name for private purposes, is very well-received and an institution in public affairs and service), they are going to hear my stupid answer and laugh at me because I looked like a complete mess. I spoke, Elaine spoke vaguely too, and Camille had run off to a safe place…Darn! My first chance at National TV and I blew it!!! So there, I think…I’ll never be embarrassed about anything again.

P.S. to those who know me I was shocked and at a loss for words please don’t be disgusted with me because I was unawares of the events my apologies…

ALONE

This is my recent song and my third one…kinda funny though but I was happy when I wrote this! This song talks first about betrayal and rejection of a friend but don’t you notice the chorus? At first it seems as if there’s no reconciliation, but the phrase that she prays all day means that she still hope against hope that things will turn out ok as attested by the second stanza. I guess I’m like that now, despite the fact that people can reject me and hurt me, I must not be bitter or offended but instead I have to hold it all out first and hope and pray that things are going to be all right.

(F#m E D)
The whole world’s your stage
I can’t believe that you
Tore me out of the page
The story of me and you
I tried to console
The angst that was inside
Instead a gaping hole
From which I cannot hide

Chorus:
(A E F#m D)
I step away
as you watch me fade
You close my eyes
as you tell me lies
My tears they fall
knowing you won’t care at all
Alone, I pray
All day, yeah


(F#m E D)
I still believe
Light will come at last
There’s a time to grieve
To learn from the past
A restoration
Of something good
Annihilation
Of where evil once stood

Chorus:
(A E F#m D)
I step away
as you watch me fade
You close my eyes
as you tell me lies
My tears they fall
knowing you won’t care at all
Alone, I pray
All day, yeah